Pre-Interview Jitters

When I quit my job in December I went through the process of reassuring everyone I know that I would be leaving that career to enter into my dream field. Said dream field was something involving accumulating and using cosmetics in any form I could find available or working for a specific company that I thought would be the fulfillment I needed. It’s been about two months since I quit and I’ve turned down a handful of job offers and I probably have not spent enough time in pursuit of my dreams.

The thing is, throughout this process I realized that my dreams are bigger than my career. Sure, it is my ultimate goal to be a mom and be able to do make that my full time gig, but even that isn’t necessarily a socially accepted idea of what my dreams should be. Essentially, I’m supposed to find a career or career field that really resonates with me and brings heart-warming fulfillment into my life that makes me feel like waking up every day is worth it and I’m really living my life. I’ve had a number of jobs that I look back on fondly and wish I could make a bigger role out of, but I still remember the days (which were many and regular) that those jobs were just jobs. And in the end that’s all any job is- a job with good days and really, reeeally bad days.

Especially when I consider the fact that the only career goal I’ve ever had is to be a mom, I think I can safely say that finding a dream job isn’t going to happen for me. I’m ok with that. Try explaining this to people. I have absolutely no prospects for a husband and don’t make a big effort in that area so telling people that’s what I want to do is a bit of a joke. I’ve been looking at the time I spend until I do meet the man who will eventually be the father of my children as a sort of buffering period- I’m just spending (or wasting) time until things really start up for me. I do sense the bleakness of this thinking and my situation. I don’t truly feel that way though. My intention is to use this time to cultivate interests and hobbies and develop the lifestyle I want.

This brings me to what is hopefully my next big step in life. I have an interview with a company doing something I would be good at. Not based on my dreams and hobbies and interests, but based on the skills I have and my ability to thrive in a normal workplace which is something people often overlook. My friends and family seemed a bit disappointed when I explained this is where I’m hoping my life will go next which made me wonder whether I should feel defeated as well? No. I do not. I think it is far better to have a stable career where I can be a strong performer and the work feels significant, even if it may not be life-changing. I think I would prefer to have a job where I can establish myself and pick up and put down interests and activities at my leisure. To have enough money to pay off my loans so I can move out and live on my own and gain back the time I lost from commuting at my previous job seems like a dream. If your commute is less than an hour or even half an hour I think that deserves a moment of your thanks. You don’t know how much I envy you. To get back the time, money, and stability this job may afford me would allow me to pursue all the other ideas I had in mind before this job came.

Of course, none of this is certain and I do not even have a job offer. I feel it is important to explain why I made this decision for myself and how I did not simply decide against the inconvenience of my other ventures.

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Valentine’s Day Part 2!

The second half of my list is my celebrity girl crushes! For some reason this list is always extremely easier for me to create. There are so many who aren’t on my list that I really feel bad about (Mindy Kaling, Tina Fey, Jennifer Lawrence), but it’s not that big of a deal. So, without further ado, here is my top 10 celebrity girl crushes.

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Carrie Mulligan, Emma Watson, and Helen Mirren. Good old Helen Mirren is like a fine wine- she keeps getting better and more badass as she gets older. I will never stop thinking she is divine.

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Kiera Knightley, Kelly MacDonald, Emma Thompson. Kelly MacDonald gets the Scottish vote on my girls list and I have loved Kiera Knightley through good and bad movies. Emma Thompson. Look at her. That face is perfection.

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Elizabeth Banks, Selma Hayek, Emilia Clarke, Rose Byrne. The first two are funny and gorgeous and are made even more awesome to me after their stints on 30 Rock. I think it goes without saying this last bunch is just helplessly pretty and stylish.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

To celebrate Valentine’s day as a very single girl I’ve decided to bless you all with my top 10 celebrity crush lists! Had I been more organized I would have posted my girl crush list YESTERDAY on Galentine’s day, but oh well!

These are in no specific order as I can’t rank them, it would be too hard. There is a hierarchy though! Starting with the grouping that has the majority of my love down to the last few who still have plenty of my affection  Prepare yourselves.

Boys 1

 

Theo James, Henry Cavill, and Alex Turner. You’ll notice how much I love pale, English men as you go further into my top 10.

boys 2

 

Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, and James McAvoy. It was hard to not choose the entire Avengers team, but I feel good about where I landed on this decision. James McAvoy has one of my favorite accents of all time.

boys 3

Kit Harington, Idris Elba, Paul Rudd, Joseph Gordon-Levitt. It’s too bad I had to crop the picture of Kit Harington… Idris Elba and Paul Rudd take up the silver fox spots on my list, but are also hilarious and aging well. Then there’s JGL who I have been in love with since 3rd Rock from the Sun.

 

What I’m Reading Right Now

Well, not right now, but you get the idea. At any point in time I am usually in the process of reading 3 books. Right now I’m reading 5. I don’t have a short attention span, I just get so involved in the books I read that I tend to search for a pick me up somewhere else. Or, the most reasonable excuse, is that I’m searching for as many qualities as possible all in one book at once, which is nearly impossible. I feel that my current reading list will shed light on what I’m very inaccurately trying to type out here. Thus, we dive into the list.

The Paris Wife
I picked this up as my first borrow from the library a few weeks ago. If I’m honest with you, I didn’t do much research about this particular book before I chose it. I was under the impression it was something different… But this book is a fictional account of Earnest Hemingway’s relationship with his first wife. To understand what an interesting choice this is for me I will give you this very important detail: I’m not a big fan of Hemingway. I do, however, like Paris! And a good love story, especially one that ends in scandal. 

A Storm of Swords
This is taking me a ridiculous amount of time to read. I always get stuck when the chapters about Jon Snow come up. It’s amazing to me that someone who is so beautiful to watch on screen is so boring to read. Then again, it’s not as if Kitt Harrington is acting out the scenes in the actual books. I just need to finish before season 4 begins because watching a season and then reading the book is a real drag with Game of Thrones. I do love the series and highly recommend them if you hate getting attached to characters and love plot twists.

Never Have I Ever: My Live (So Far) Without a Date
Katie Heaney (who also spent her formative years in the great state of Minnesota) wrote a book about my romantic life by writing a book about her romantic life. That was a really terrible way of saying that I have found a kindred soul in this book. It’s not that the opportunity hasn’t arisen, I’ve just never taken it. It’s nice to hear about someone with the same problem. The best books are those we relate to on a deeper level- like rallying around each other’s ineptitude in the dating world.

Raise High the Roof Beam Carpenters and Seymour: An Introduction
I really like J.D. Salinger. After John Steinbeck he may be my favorite author. I just get his kind of sadness and the complexity of his characters. I don’t mean that to sound conceited, it’s more about the fact that I relate to these really weird, sad people he writes about. This book is no exception compared to the rest of his collection. It’s odd how large of a role Seymour plays in his writing since he’s featured in 3 different Salinger novels. I’ll be honest, I haven’t even reached the “Seymour: An Introduction” portion yet, but this is really comparable to any of his other books.

The Divergent Series
I realize this is a “Young Adult” genre choice. I need to stop making this choice for myself, it always ends up as a 3 day obsession with finishing the books and then heartbreak. So when day 3 rolled around this time and things weren’t panning out how I wanted them to in Allegiant (the final book of the series) I decided to Wikipedia the end of the series to alleviate some stress and hopefully make the last half of the book easier. It didn’t. I have no intention of finishing the final book. This is a normal practice of mine, I like knowing the end of a story so it’s easier to push through the annoying and frustrating parts to read (like I said, I get really involved in the story line and characters when I read). I correctly predicted the plot twist of the series and everything after that became really obnoxious for me to read. That being said, the first book will suck you in with character and world development and the second book let’s the plot take the mainstage. I can’t give you an accurate explanation of the last book because I hated it. It was like reading Mockingjay of the Hunger Games, but multiplied by 10. 

I am also less actively reading Mere Christianity and Stardust as familiar books in between bouts of reading new books. I keep a really confusing reading pattern, but it at least promises that in a few months I will have another short list of books!

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R U Mine?

What’s going on here? Let’s talk about it. I’m about to get real. There is something that Alex Turner is doing that just sets me off. Granted, I’ve always had a penchant for skinny, white boys, but now he is doing some 1950’s greaser thing with his hair and all the leather jackets and his voice has always been a thing. The Arctic Monkeys might write a lot of songs that all sound like the other, but I love them all as if they’re totally unique. He’s wearing sunglasses at night and driving around in a car and playing air guitar. Really? Really Lisa? Is it that easy? Yes, yes it is. I’ll comb your hair and be your groupie, Alex. Whatever.