The Empowerment of Self-Advocating

I don’t know if I’m really talented as a beauty blogger. I can’t even say that I think I have a gift for blogging period! However, there is an experience I’d like to share about, so here we are!

I would not call myself an outgoing person and I would certainly say I am a procrastinator, so almost 2 month ago when I lost one of my credit cards without a trace…. I did nothing. When I accidentally get swindled into a service that maintains a ((n) expensive) monthly subscription, I just continue to live my life and pretend the money isn’t swiftly flowing out of my account. Never confront, never make myself too big or draw attention to my needs. After years spent in customer service, I know what those obnoxious customers sound like and even the most justified still sound pretentious and rude. Very infrequently do you get to help a reasonable, friendly person who has been slightly┬áinconvenienced and would just like simple rectification.

No longer! I can’t exactly pinpoint why it takes so much inertia for me to be moved to advocate for myself and make the necessary phone calls, and I don’t think you really want to read about that either. I can say that almost every interaction I have had in the past few months of standing up for myself has ended positively and with the customer representatives thanking me and genuinely sounding relieved that they were not being yelled at again today. Am I doing something especially right that brought us here and I’m now encouraging you to emulate me? Probably not. But my trick is to always stay calm and just be grateful. Say thank you for their time, people will bend over backwards to help you if you just make it easier for them and remain understanding. Are we not living incredibly fortunate lives? Is the item/service/product in question a necessity for living or a luxury? Start there, and build the experience on gratitude. Kindness and a larger perspective on the situation go SUCH a long way.

Saying this makes me realize that other’s approval is slightly more important to me than I previously realized – but I also think it’s important for someone who has had bad experiences to learn from them and hope to move forward with their lives avoiding falling into the same patterns. IE: I don’t want to be one of “those people” who makes life hell for the poor representative who did nothing to wrong me. It makes it easier to keep going against my nature and standing up for myself when I walk away from a customer experience with my intended desire and a positive interaction with another person. Hearing someone genuinely say “thank you for your understanding” when I remember how often I had to say it while quietly dying inside… helps me remember that my needs are important and worth standing up for! There isn’t any punishment for standing up for yourself and sometimes you have to be “that person” – but remembering to be kind and gracious ends up neutralizing that negative encounter.